We had a sniff at this a few months ago via leaks on the Internets, but we didn’t think it was real, just because it was so, so awful. We’re talking, of course, about Liverpool’s new away kit and third kit designs for the 2013-14 season. Remember this awesomeness floating around a few months back?
Well, they appear to be real! Or, at least that delightful white one’s what they’ll wear outside Anfield. Here’s how Liverpool’s choosing to play up the new away kit reveal on the team’s official site, to see where Warrior went with inspiration from Liverpool kits of yore.
And here’s the video of the “fashion shoot” you need to watch immediately, to get some fantastic glimpses of Gerrard lamenting a season in these, and Pepe Reina and Luis Suarez fantasizing about their imminent departures. And also, what it looks like to tuck in one of these bad boys in, trying to align the bird-scat-diamond-patterns on the belly just so with the matching bird-scat-diamond-patterns on the sidewall of the shorts.
And in a social media move they may regret, the club’s encouraging fans (and Everton trolls everywhere, plus everyone who hates Liverpool) to hashtag their thoughts on the new kits with the #riseuplfc hashtag. Our favorites so far include:
@kickTV: The moment Suarez decided it was time to leave Liverpool? RT @WARRIOR_FTBL: 2013/14 Warrior @LFC away kit. #RiseUpLFC pic.twitter.com/xW32yqQQYU
@vococh: Good God. Hoped the new #LFC away kit was a joke. Alas, it’s all over the official site. Rise up? Throw up, more like. Horrible. #RiseUpLFC
@hannatron: This is the year I don’t buy a Liverpool shirt. It’s disgusting. Looks like a Man U shirt #riseuplfc
@declangordon8: #RiseUpLFC if warrior produces another bad kit next season I’m becoming an Everton fan
The best part is that, arguably, the third kit’s even worse, and the rollout for that promises to be equally if not even more hilarious — as that could be in possible contention for worst jersey even, rivaling the Hull Porn Rug Tiger from 1992, the Norwich Pigeon-Shit-Means-Good-Luck wonderwork (also from 1992), and anything worn by Campos the Clown, especially when rocking this font.
But there’s only one answer to the question, “What’s the worst jersey of all time?”
Please, please, please, let Warrior at the Colorado Rapids jerseys. We need a Caribous revival. We need to see what Warrior would do with fringe.