Daydrinker’s Five: Our New German Overlords Edition

In the Champions League, it’s going to be Wembley Uber Alles in three weeks … but the Bundesliga schedule, in a happy cosmic accident, has a Bayern-Dortmund tilt this weekend with much lower stakes than the upcoming, all-German, sky-falling-on-Spanish-football final. In the meantime, a crapload of games are happening with some minor effects on who finishes 3rd and 18th in the EPL. Here are your non-German domination storylines.

Will United try? They’ve won the league, they can’t catch Chelsea for the most-points-in-a-season mark, and they’ve had their guard of honor. Attention’s shifting to the summer transfer rumors about C-Ron returning to Old Trafford, but in the meantime, they’re facing a Chelsea side for whom a win means much more.

Speaking of rumors and Chelsea … Though they start a tough end-of-the-season slog that might leave them out of the top four after all, the big talk with the Blues is all about the Return of Jose, now that Real’s been Deutschlanded out of the Champions League and Barcelonad out of La Liga.

Facing their former clubs. Fun facts: Bale used to be at Southampton before joining Spurs; Lambert used to manage Norwich before taking Villa on this year’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. The Player/Young Player of the Year and the manager of a lot of young players face their former squads today. Spurs’ next match (Wednesday, vs. Chelsea) has much more meaning for the Champions League race, but we’re in a for-real EVERY GAME COUNTS scenario.

Can Arsenal stay in the CL? The race for St. Totteringham’s Day is on as Arsenal attempts to maintain its annual stay in the top four (read: fourth) AND scout rumored transfer target/French guy Loic Remy as the Gunners face Championship-bound QPR. Also, we’ll make the obligatory bacon sandwich reference since Redknapp’s still managing QPR. And allegedly will be next year.

The race for 17th. Newcastle’s colossal ass-kicking at the hands of Liverpool last week was bad enough to plunge them into the relegation battle. The suddenly-toothless (not like Liverpool, amirite?) Toons face West Ham (the best of last year’s promoted sides), while Wigan (who looked alternately awesome and clown-car in tying Spurs last week) goes against West Brom, The Most Boring of EPL Sides.

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