Looking Up At The Bottom: Dying Throes Edition

Ah, spring. The time of year that brings warmer temperatures, flowers, the twittering of birds … and the crushing of dreams as three unlucky groups of EPL fan bases find themselves unceremoniously dumped into the Championship League and trying to figure out what “nPower” is. It’s getting close to the end of the season, and the fuzziness that was there back in January (specifically, with ‘Arry trying to buy his way out of relegation with QPR’s millions) is clearing up …

The Doomed

QPR (23 points, 4W, 11D, 15L, 8 games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say (Note: these are best possible odds you can get): 2/9

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: Hosting Wigan April 7, at Reading April 28

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Four (Fulham, Everton, Arsenal, Liverpool)

Wishful Thinking: ‘Arry’s going to up the spending by going after Capoue if they avoid relegation, and he still has hope.

Vulture Watch: Look for Remy to go to Arsenal or Inter.

Reading (23 points, 5W, 8D, 17L, eight games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say: 1/10. Most say 1/16. Yes, that’s putting down $16 to win $1.

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: Hosting Southampton April 6, Hosting QPR April 28

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Four (Arsenal, Liverpool, Fulham, Man City,

Wishful Thinking: Nigel Adkins to the rescue!

Vulture Watch: Pogrebnyak to Zenit? Plausible, and worth jumping to this Mirror article for the caption alone.

The Semi-Doomed

Wigan (27 points, 7W, 6D, 16L, 9 games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say: 11/10

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: At QPR April 7, hosting Villa May 1

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Five (Man City, Spurs, West Brom, Swansea, Arsenal)

Wishful Thinking: Martinez is going after the entire bottom half of the table, according to the always-reliable Sun.

Vulture Watch: Wolves have already snatched up Dicko, which we link to for obvious reasons.

Aston Villa (30 points, 7W, 9D, 14L, 8 games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say: 2/1

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: Hosting Sunderland April 29, at Wigan May 19

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Four (Liverpool, Fulham, Man U, Chelsea)

Wishful Thinking: Two straight wins, baby!

Vulture Watch: Benteke to City? Weimann to Norwich? Norwich? Really?

Southampton (31 points, 7W, 10D, 13L, 8 games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say: 13/2

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: At Reading April 6, at Sunderland May 12

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Four (Chelsea, Swansea, West Brom, Spurs)

Wishful Thinking: There’s actually not much wishful thinking out on the Internets for the Saints.

Vulture Watch: Is Luke Shaw flirting with Chelsea?

Sunderland (31 points, 7W, 10D, 13L, 8 games left)

What the Oddsmakers Say: 9/4

Relegation Six Pointers Remaining: At Villa April 29, Hosting Southampton May 12

Remaining Matches Against Top Ten Teams: Four (Man U, Chelsea, Everton, Spurs)

Wishful Thinking: According to this article, Mignolet says that relegation is off the agenda for this year. (“We can’t finish in the bottom three; it’s not on my to-do list!”)

Vulture Watch: Mignolet has suitors, of course.

On A Sunday Drive Through Doomed

Don’t count out but-we-just-got-back-here West Ham (33 points, 9 games left), shockingly bad Newcastle (33 points, 8 games left), or tepid-of-late Norwich (34 points, 8 games left), who all sit about 20/1 to be dropped. Stoke, incidentally, has the same points and matches left situation as Norwich, but they’re not as drop-probable, which probably has to do with their ability to get a point each week with a 0-0 draw.

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