The BCS National Championship game, for all its carnage and Irish humiliating and A.J. McCarron-girlfriend-ogling, was only the second most uncomfortable sports-related thing on TV yesterday. If you flipped over to Fox Soccer Channel at any point yesterday, you saw that actual soccer gave way to the ESPYs meets Eurovision. And Messi won a giant gold ball (shocker), as did Abby Wambach (one of two finalists we were rooting for). And people took pictures. So we’ll provide captions.
(Note: Photos are housed on the FIFA site, so after hilarious attempts at embedding photos, we have to do the click-on-the-hilarious-caption and link thing. Get your finger workout on.)
The three they-just-LOOK-drunk men’s finalists. The dots on Messi’s tux are actually light sensors, so video game makers can get more accurate player movements for an exciting new video game coming out soon — FIFA Ballon D’Or 14!