Bunga bunga on Broadway

Kids love meeting the manager.

Just like all of the other cool clubs, AC Milan have been spending part of their summer in America.

In these days of crazy football finances expanding your global brand over the offseason is a no-brainer and it has the added benefit of giving already die-hard fans the chance to see their favorite squads live and up close.

Hell, it doesn’t even have to be your favorite squad. I once got to geek out (with dignity of course) in the presence of some of those bastards from Manchester United.

Getting in on the U.S. outreach action, the Rossoneri recently visited the adidas store in Manhattan for a meet and greet and autograph signing for Tri-State Area tifosi. The team is in the Big Apple to face Real Madrid in the new Yankee Stadium.

In addition to the signing, there was also a special offer which would guarantee the first 150 people who purchased $75 worth of Milan merchandise from the store a special wristband and the chance to meet the team.

$75 isn’t all that cheap, but when you consider the gear is about to be filled with signatures, you have to assume that’s actually a pretty good value.

Now, me being in Boston, I could have easily hopped on a train or more likely a Chinatown bus (Fung Wah baby) and gotten the type of access to the team that I will rarely ever be offered again.

But I’m actually holding out for a much more exclusive wristband, and it’s going to take a lot more than 75 bucks.

That’s right, the real hot ticket is the one that gets you access to owner, club president, former Italian Prime Minister, and all around ladies’ man Silvio Berlusconi.

Signatures are nice, but wouldn’t you rather go to a private party with scantily-clad nuns and statue groping?

Plans for the United States’ first ever bunga bunga party have been made for Wednesday night during the match with Madrid and will take place in a secret bunker under Yankee Stadium designed for the late George Steinbrenner’s own debauched sexcapades.

Just buying a couple jerseys isn’t going to cut it to get into this sexy soiree though. To be granted the privilege of sharing an evening with Mr. Berlusconi one must do much more to prove their love for Milan.

Snooki and pals ask for the Silvio.

Requirements for entry include:

– $1,000 for Berlusconi’s legal defense fund

– A recording of a prank phone call to Inter President Massimo Moratti

– Photographic evidence of you egging Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s new home in Paris

– $100 gift card to Hollywood Tan

– The personal phone numbers and addresses of at least three Serie A referees

– One bucket of horse placenta (to lure Robin Van Persie)

– Your most attractive female friend or relative (aged 15+)

It’s going to be tough for me to round this all up before 8:00 PM ET, but well worth the effort  in order to rub elbows (and hopefully nothing else) with a Milan legend.


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