Better Know A Country: The Big Minnows

If you have a lot of free time on your hands, the list of FIFA member nations can provide endless entertainment. There are 209 nations with men’s football, and only 32 manage to qualify for the World Cup. As part of the long lead up to Brazil, as well as making fun of a bunch of teams, we are providing brief bios of the numerous nations whose attempts to reach Brazil are about as likely as Spurs winning the title this year. What follows is a look at one nation from each of the various federations.


The country known as Burma before 1993 is known to most of the world for their military junta and general disregard for human rights. They are definitely not going to be known for their football prowess, their biggest win and loss both came before 1993. The country has never qualified for a World Cup and finished 2nd in the 1968 Asia Cup, the only one they qualified for. They have even been banned from qualification once because of withdrawing midway through World Cup qualification during a previous year. They have already been eliminated from the 2014 World Cup and will play their 2018 qualifiying matches on neutral ground.

The  only funny part of the whole country is their nickname, the White Angels. And really it is only funny because a military dictatorship has given their football team a nickname dealing with angels.


I have no idea what the correct pronunciation of the country is, but it amuses me to pronounce it Dja Booty. They have never qualified for the African Cup of Nations, or the World Cup. They have also never made it out of the first round of the CECAFA Cup which is regional african competition. Honestly they best part of the country is the squads nickname. When translated from french it reads, “Shoremen of the Red Sea” No idea how that one came about, but it is good for a few laughs.

Saint Kitts and Nevis

Saint Kitts headlines our look at CONCACAF minnows, and the Sugarz Boyz sound more like a group of bad rappers than a football squad. They have never qualified for the Gold Cup or World Cup, but finished second in the Caribbean Cup. Basically they suck and have never produced a professional footballer. That said it is a nice place to go visit.


Niue is one of those really small Pacific island countries, and the  incredible thing is the squad has only played 2 recognized games, both 1983. They lost both and have a distinction of being a defeated side. They are only an associate nation so they are unable to enter World Cup qualifying, but it is all fun to read about right?


2 responses to “Better Know A Country: The Big Minnows

  1. The truly important questions: 1) are any Traore’s eligible to play for any of these countries, and 2) would they be Traores we would know, or ones we still need to learn about?

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