EPL Fan Costume Suggestions

The Smurfs are real lefties. Shouldn’t they be St. Pauli fans?

Now that his Swans are safe in the knowledge that they will be playing top flight football for another season, Swansea manager Brendan Rodgers has encouraged the team’s fans to don a specific costume to commemorate the achievement.

According to Rodgers, English bookies gave the prospects of spotting Elvis Presley alive and well better odds than they did the possibility of the Welsh side surviving.

And so, Rodgers has encouraged the Swansea faithful to show up for this Sunday’s game against Liverpool dressed as “The King” (not Kenny… or LeBron).

And just yesterday in London, over 150 Hartlepool supporters dressed up as Smurfs for the League One outfit’s final match away to Charlton Athletic.

An homage to your club colors is fun, but I like Rodgers’ more topical approach. So, I have provided some more suggestions for EPL fans, after the jump.

Blackburn: A once great and wealthy champion, now reduced to a shell of its former self. At first I thought Rovers supporters might want to go with an homage to another fallen former heavyweight and sport some sweet face ink:


But considering the current state of the club, I think this might be a little more appropriate:

Looks more appetizing than “Venky’s” sounds.

Liverpool or Chelsea: Integral players on each of these teams have already embarrassed themselves, others in the club, and even some of the fans who supported them. Sunday could be the time for one last ridiculous, totally inappropriate show of solidarity.

Al Jolson would be too culturally significant.

Manchester City: Preying on other clubs, poaching talent to use at their discretion, and generally spending their way to the top, City fans should just hope these masks are already being made.

Of course they are. He’s already wearing one.

Wigan: An easy choice for the great escape artists, though it may make applauding difficult.

Makes a good group costume.

Fulham: As far as I’m concerned, this is the very least Fulham fans can do for America after Clint Dempsey’s heroics.

Mark Schwarzer can wear a really tight one.

Manchester United: Batman. The #2 most popular Halloween costume.


Arsenal: A team of principles. Inner and outer beauty. With faith in a higher, omnipotent, French power.

Character earns a lot of haters and many delight in their misfortune, but this team finds its way into the top 4 despite nobody wanting them around anymore.

It’s the effort that counts!

I’ll tell you one area where this analogy fails completely. Arsenal know how to pass.

Tottenham: This one is a bit conceptual. Stay with me.

Like this memorable, timeless character, Tottenham blew their load early and everyone saw it and laughed.

After a rough first two games the Spuds went on a great run of form, only to go limp when it mattered most.

See where this is headed yet?

So how to dress like Jason Biggs’ seminal role? Smash a pie on your crotch, Tottenham fans. Pants. No pants. Doesn’t matter.

If I didn’t include your club it’s because I couldn’t think of one. I expect you to succeed where I have failed.


7 responses to “EPL Fan Costume Suggestions

  1. Brilliant.
    Orr, how do you feel about the RvP to Juve rumors (or “rumours”)?

  2. Chelsea: Richie Rich

    Spoiled rich kid gets his inexperienced Portuguese au pair fired, still manages to get his hands on some expensive shiny silverware.

  3. Sorry about the massive Macauly Culkin pic there.
    Also, “seminal role”. Excellent.

  4. @Scouse – It would be a good move for him and the team. Losing Del Piero, sending Borriello back to Roma, Juve need to have options at that position and he’d be the best striker in the squad.

    A great midfield for service too.

    Not sure he’ll leave EPL though.

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