King Featherpool Suffers Dramatic Loss, Insists It Isn’t Important

You have to play for keeps in fox hunting

Liverpool- Shocking news from Stanley Park today, King Featherpool  has suffered a shocking defeat to the Queen’s Men in the Premier Fox Hunting League. Featherpool was in the midst of a fantastic hunt before his stallion Carragus, aged 6, pulled up lame. This forced Featherpool onto his own two feet to finish out the final quarter of the hunt. Sadly enough, Carragus had to be put down after the match, more on that story here.

After beginning his trek on foot, King Featherpool was forced to deal with yet more problems. Two of his best hunting dogs refused to work together, and this allowed the Queen’s Men to snatch three late foxes to take the hunt 3-2. Initial reports seem to point the finger at Suata and Gerdino as the two dogs causing problems.

Although Featherpool has yet to make a statement, it seems likely that Suata is most likely to be the instigator in this confrontation. Enthusiasts may remember the confrontation between Suata and Patty during the hunt with Sir SmoothFur. Suata seemed to take more pleasure in attacking Patty than he did in killing the nearby fox. King Featherpool seemed unconcerned then, and most likely will take the same stance with this latest dustup.

The loss leaves Featherpool in a precarious position, with only 2 foxes separating them from Wingington who has once again been making a late season move on the foxes.

The big news making waves after this loss is King Featherpool’s insistence that the loss does not matter. Immediately after the match he told our treeside reporter, “In the end the loss isn’t important, what is important for a big hunting party like mine is that we look good. We just signed a new clothing deal with Ralph Lauren and are extremely pleased. In hunting all you need to do is look good, and results are secondary.”

This statement was met with derision from many sides, league leader Sir SmoothFur said, “Well over here at Trafford Forest we prefer to win trophies. If all you have is good looks, no one is going to care. Look at the buggers down in Highbury. They are all French and fine looking, but don’t win a single trophy so no one cares. You’d think with the speed of their hounds they could win, but that is a topic for another day I suppose. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go slip the officials their bribes”

This all comes on the heels of Featherpool and Addidas abandoning their relationship due to what appears to be an outrageous asking price. Addidas released this statement, “We expect hunters in our colors to actually win trophies. We are paying good money, and none of these folks actually look good in our clothes anyway”.

With only a few hunts left until the summer break, it will be interesting to see what happens to King Featherpool. With several huntsman already being fired, Featherpool could be getting the axe sooner rather than later, but at least he would look good getting thrown out of the Stanley Park Stables.

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