It’s got to be interesting to be on the board of Real Madrid. I imagine sitting in a floor-to-ceiling glass conference room, with a comically long conference table, watching your smartphone of choice for your Google Alert set to “football” and “lavish spending,” just so you can top whatever ridiculous figure just flashed on your feed, all while Spanish bankers and reporters from Marca and AS dance for your amusement.
So I imagine that when they saw reports of the Hotel Stevie G and Hotel Boca, they snapped their fingers, and had some of their dancing bankers whip up $1 billion in “money market accounts” so that they could build a holiday experience that would attract dummies with a lot of money, and put those other two luxury football holiday experiences to shame.
They’re building an island. The “Real Madrid Resort Island” is slated to open in 2015. The design firm behind this, the greatest cocaine masterpiece since “Stop Making Sense,” has been withheld, but the island will include, per the Guardian, ” a marina, luxury hotels, villas, an amusement park, a club museum and a futuristic 10,000-seat stadium with one side open to the sea.”
The island will be located in the Emirate of Ras al-Khaimah, part of the United Arab Emirates, and the club have stated that they expect to draw 1 million visitors in its launch year. No word yet on Madrid’s plans to resurrect Ferenc Puskas to serve as the Island’s Mr. Rourke, or whether Sid Lowe will be abducted and forced to live out the rest of his life like a remake of The Prisoner.