The View From Row Z: Jersey Civil War

On this rarest of Leap Days, the soccer world brings us a full slate of international friendlies to feast on like hungry tourists at a casino buffet. So pull up a chair and grab a plate. Of course, most of you will pop in here this afternoon for that special occasion when Italian Americans everywhere get to feel conflicted and torn. But the international action has been underway since yesterday, when the Serbs dispatched the Armenians and Own Goal suited up for Bosnia to give Brazil a last gasp undeserved win. There was even a match between New Zealand and Jamaica in the middle of the night.

About the Battle for the Heart of Jersey, both countries are missing significant players tonight, which makes it a bit harder to predict the outcome. Prandelli’s Prancers will be missing Cassano and Il Traditore through injury, as well as Balotelli and Osvaldo for breaking the manager’s code of conduct. Something called Fabio Borini could start for the Azzurri up front. Meanwhile, Klinsy will have to make do without Donovan (who’s busy tweeting about puppies while he copes with bronchitis), Chandler, and Torres. Those losses resulted in a free trip to Italy for Kljestan and Brek Shea.

Here’s a brief list of today’s most interesting internationals (all times Eastern). You can find a full slate including AFC qualifiers here. As always, feel free to post lineups in the comments as they’re announced and do some pre-game trash talk.

09:00 Cyprus v. Serbia (wait, didn’t they just beat Armenia yesterday?)
12:00 Canada v. Armenia (wait, didn’t they just lose to Serbia yesterday?)
13:30 Uruguay v. Romania
14:30 Argentina v. Switzerland
14:45 USA v. Italy
14:45 Germany v. France
14:45 Poland v. Portugal
14:45 Ireland v. Czech Republic
14:45 Scotland v. Slovenia
15:00 England v. Netherlands
15:30 Spain v. Venezuela
20:00 Mexico v. Colombia

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59 responses to “The View From Row Z: Jersey Civil War

  1. Bahrain are currently dickstomping Indonesia 10 – 0. And they’ve missed two of their four penalties.

  2. @Lorber: if I understand correctly, Bahrain needed to make up a 9 goal deficit in group E. I suspect some Indonesians have walked away from this match with briefcases full of oily cash.

  3. That Bahrain result is absurd. In a corruption-off, I’d have picked Qatar for sure (and they ended up coming through, by telling Iran to let them score if they want to receive payment for any oil or future American hikers/hostages). But Bahrain made it damn interesting. My guess is that the Saudis bankrolled their corruption effort in an attempt to tell Qatar and Iran to go fuck themselves (or however you say that in Arabic). Just like the Saudis bankrolled the Bahrainis’ tank-stomping of the resistance movement a year ago. Somewhere, Sunil Gulati and the Australian FA Pres are weeping that Qatar will actually host a freaking WC.

  4. For the sake of my wallet, I hope none of these countries tries to block the Straits of Hormuz over this.

  5. Italy Lineup (4-3-1-2): Buffon; Criscito, Barzagli, Ogbonna, Maggio; Nocerino, Pirlo, Marchisio; Thiago Motta; Giovinco, Matri

    United States Lineup (4-2-3-1): Howard; Johnson, Bocanegra, Goodson, Cherundolo; Bradley, Edu; Shea, Dempsey, Williams; Altidore

  6. Argentina (4-4-2): Messi +10 (Romero; Campagnaro, Fernández, Garay, Zabaleta; Sosa, Mascherano, Braña, Maxi Rodríguez; Agüero)

    Switzerland (4-5-1): Benaglio; Affolter, Senderos, Rodriguez, Lichtsteiner; Dzemaili, Frei, Inler, Xhaka, Shaqiri; Mehmedi

  7. So, which meaningless matchup is more interesting? US-Italy, or England-Holland? Will Stuart Pearce deliver, or will England sink into the ocean?!?

  8. Carrick wasn’t even called up. Which is a travesty. Should be Parker-Carrick-Gerrard in midfield. Instead, Barrys playing the anchor which makes no sense, and Parker’s playing more advanced, which makes no sense.

  9. Right. I was anti-Carrick for two years but he’s been incredible this season and I’ve finally converted.

  10. Just glad we haven’t conceded yet. Anyone found any photos or screengrabs so I can see the kits in question? Stuck at work; speaking of which, I want to beat my co’s IT Dep’t with a brick stick. They suck a lot.

  11. Azzurri perspective: Giovinco looks spritely, Good pressure from wingbacks, gotta be careful on US free kicks

    USA: Credit to Bradley for closing down Pirlo in the final third, Need to stay strong at the back, but that limits their attacking potential.

  12. I assume we’re wearing aways? If so, I found them online. I don’t actually hate the shirts, but I think they’d be much better with red socks. Even better with white shorts, but I know we can’t really do that, given that France think they own the blue white red thing (and Scotland too). Interested to see what the home whites will look like.

    http://www.ussoccerstore.com/us00m112512aa.html

  13. One thing I wll say, is that it was probably too much to do the white sleeves and the sash. Let’s stick to one signature design element at a time, Nike. I for one am fine keeping the sash as our thing, as almost no one else uses it. But enough of this tonal bullshit. Either use it and make it obvious and classy, or don’t use it, but don’t apologize for using it by trying to make it unnoticeable.

  14. From an actual football perspective, I thought the whole point of Klinsy was to be more expressive and counterattacking instead of just parking the bus and lumping it long every now and then like Bradley. I’d rather go down 3-0 to Italy and actually have the guys learning and implementing the style than going all damage-control and wasting an international date while we try to lose less badly than we would’ve anyway.

  15. Anyone see the Gerrard injury? JT says it’s just a little knock and that he walked it off, but is there reason for more concern? I need something to panic about ahead of this matchup between seventhpool and fifthsenal

  16. OM just noted this on Twitter, but this is hilarious from Eboue-
    “Congrat to #ScottParker. A true gentleman & living Legend. Not arrogant, doesnt sleep wiv his mates wife and call players black cunt.”

  17. England collapse and the Dutch bang in two in quick succession. Smalling may or may not be dead after clashing heads with The Hunter.

  18. @KC Gunner: The Brazilians would be very, very upset. But I really hope Argentina lets Brazil and Spain carry the load of being favorites. Let’s fly as low under the radar as we can (which isn’t very low when you have Messi, I know).

  19. Robben goal was a beaut, but where was the defending?

    Well, Cahill’s goal probably shouldn’t have counted anyways, so I guess the result ended where it should have.

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