Boca Juniors Has a Hotel, Too

90% of Boca fans won't be able to afford this.

Just last week, The Lorber brought us word of the Stevie G Hotel in Indonesia or wherever. Well, an Argentine hotel chain is upping the ante on this new soccer-themed hotel fad by building the Hotel Boca, right in the heart of Buenos Aires.

They’ve even gone and claimed that it’s the world’s first soccer-themed hotel. Suck on that, Stevie G Hotel.

Besides being located just a quick cab ride from La Bombonera, this 17 floor, 5 star Bocagasm boasts one special feature you won’t find very often at the Stevie G. The club plans to use the hotel as their official concentration spot for matches in Buenos Aires (that would be almost all of Boca’s games), so the actual Boca Juniors players and coaches will be staying there the night before matchdays. Moderately well-heeled Xeneize fans will be able to reserve a suite and possibly stand in line for the waffle maker at brunch behind Riquelme himself.

Accomodations include all the usual stuff you’d expect from a five-star hotel, including a spa and health club where JRR can receive treatment for his nagging plantar fasciitis, and players can gather in the dressing room to plot their mutiny against coach Falcioni.

Ah yes, yellow and blue towels.

Now, as a previously confessed Boca-hater, this is all quite disgusting to me. But even if I set aside the hate for a minute, I have to say that the rooms look a bit like someone went down to IKEA and bought all the blue and yellow furniture and rugs they could find. Not that hard to do when your club’s colors were taken from a Swedish flag flying on a merchant ship in the port of Buenos Aires about a century ago.

The hotel currently has a special going for Easter weekend where you can stay three nights for $550 (based on double occupancy) and receive a champagne welcome at check-in and a basket of chocolate Easter eggs. I assume the wrappers will be… wait for it… blue and yellow.

Now, what would really make a weekend at the Hotel Boca interesting is if they allow the Boca Juniors barra brava, La Doce, to spend the night as well. Nothing says luxury relaxation like the sound of a drunken marching band singing their favorite stadium chants at all hours of the night while throwing rolls of toilet paper and confetti down the stairwell. Or the possibility of an all-out gun battle between rival factions while you try to sip your martini at the La Barra Bar. Besides the complimentary champagne, I hope the concierge hands you a flak jacket at check-in.

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