Won’t Someone Think of the Children?

"In Uruguay, it is a sign of great reverence and admiration to let someone shake your arm. Why does nobody respect my cultural traditions?"

Luis Suarez made his first start this weekend since serving an eight-match ban for racially abusing Patrice Evra. And as fate would have it, he came up against Manchester United.

For those of you who live under a rock, in an Afghan cave, or in the red half of Liverpool, Luis Suarez refused to shake Patrice Evra’s hand and caused quite a controversy.

Since the incident occurred there has been quite the hullabaloo about the whole thing. Should he have shaken his hand? Were Kenny Dalglish’s post-game remarks completely laughable and embarrassing? Were their subsequent apologies adequate and heartfelt? Is Luis Suarez a total disgrace as human being? (yes, yes, no, and yes).

But here at FourFiveTwo we are above such petty concerns. Football’s supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not bicker and argue about who shook who.

The real problem to come out of this PR disaster is the effect it’s had on the children. Footballers are supposed to be role models and right now they’re doing a piss-poor job. Kids look up to these people and lately they’ve gotten the wrong message. Take this stunning instance from the Manchester City – Aston Villa game on Sunday, where the Villa mascot completely snubs his City counterpart during the handshakes:

Can you believe that?

What were you thinking, little Billy? Completely unacceptable! You’re both white! It’s totally fine to shake his hand! Has Suarez taught you nothing?!?!

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3 responses to “Won’t Someone Think of the Children?

  1. Love the Monty Python quote.
    Suarez can eat a bag of syphillitic dicks.
    Evra can eat a bag of healthy dicks.
    The FA & Kenny should have pianos dropped on them, Looney Tunes style.

  2. Ian Ayre should get some credit for basically told Suarez and Dalglish to eat shit and stop embarrassing the club. That guy gets it.

    And that second picture is excellent.

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