Now that we’ve all had our fun celebrating Citeh’s humiliating defeat that blew the doors off the EPL title chase, it’s time to hit the books. So sit down and shut up or I’ll have you transferred Diego Maradona’s Chess for Beginners class here at FourFiveTwo U.
What? You’re surprised that a tactical genius such as Diego is also good at chess? Would it shock you to know he earned his FIDE IGM title when he was just nine? The dude can dribble his bishop through an English defence so fast, it’ll make Gary Lineker shit his shorts.
Anyway, on to the academia. For this lesson, I’ve decided to throw in some handy Youtube clips that illustrate each term, just in case ‘Arry is trying to audit this class.
Palomita (pah-low-me-tah) Literally a “small dove”, the term visually describes the classic diving header. Probably one of the most amazing scoring plays in soccer when done right, I would say this play is comparable to Jordan dunking from the free throw line. Here’s a great example from the ’87 FA Cup Final, which I’m using at the risk of irking all the Yiddos in class.
Sombrero/sombrerito (sowm-bray-ree-toh) You ought to know the Spanish word for “hat” if you’ve ever been to a Mexican restaurant. A sombrerito is a “little hat” and in soccer it refers to the play where the ball gets flipped up over an opponent’s head, thus the hat reference. It’s terribly embarrassing to be the victim of a sombrero, but fortunately it’s pretty difficult to pull off as it usually gets blocked. Good ol’ horse teeth Ronaldinho was probably the ultimate master of the sombrero, as the following clip demonstrates. Apologies in advance for the soundtrack.
Pezcador (pes-cah-door) Literally “fisherman”, this is the Spanish term for a goal poacher, the classic #9 striker who taps the ball into the net and claims all the glory (even if a teammate did all the hard work of getting the ball to him). Goal poachers are often called fishermen in Spanish because they’re just sitting around fishing for goals. Funny that I name-dropped Lineker earlier in this post, as he was a truly great goal pezcador. Honorable mentions to Van Nistelrooy, Batistuta, and Crespo. I’m sure you can name many more.
So that’s it for this week. I think next week we’ll study wood, bricks, and the wall. Sounds exciting!