Some of the marketing guys at certain EPL teams have their work cut out for them. Lackluster squads, no star players, or Kean as
your manager can make it difficult to generate excitement amongst the fanbase. In honor of their hard work we have decided to help them out by providing some new marketing slogans. We figure it’s the least we could do.
Arsenal: Get excited, someone besides van Persie scored.
Aston Villa: Relive the glory days as Robbie Keane returns to his boyhood club.
Blackburn: Our football sucks, but the chicken is good.
Bolton: Come see next years nPower Championship Champions
Chelsea: Come see our new manager, oh wait, actually see our really new manager.
Everton: Win 5,000 quid every time Everton puts a shot on goal.
Fulham: View the recently cleaned Michael Jackson statue.
Liverpool: Now offering sensitivity training.
Manchester City: Home of the two-footed tackle.
Manchester United: First 5,000 fans win a watch that gives you an extra 5 minutes every day.
Newcastle: We have the best bar’s in the EPL, just ask Carroll.
Norwich City: Green and yellow looks great on any woman.
QPR: If you are reading this you can’t afford our tickets.
Stoke City: At least you can watch Peter Crouch’s wife in the stands.
Sunderland: Introducing the new manager, same as the old manager.
Swansea City: Come visit Wales, we have um… whales?
Tottenham: Season tickets come with a free riot admittance
West Brom: At least it is football
Wigan: Its either this or rugby, and do you really want to watch rubgy?
Wolverhampton: Now selling Mick McCarthy hair products.