Robin van Persie blocks five-year-old son’s move to Arsenal

Almunia's replacement?

Arsenal have made a move to bring Robin van Persie’s 5-year-old son Shaqueel to the Emirates. Anticipating the impending departure of van Persie the Elder, Arsenal are eager to lock down young SvP. To sweeten the deal, they’ve guaranteed him a spot in next season’s Carling Cup team.* Arsène Wenger believes** supporters might not know the difference between father and son, and views this move as a clever way to dupe Arsenal fans into thinking the team still has some ambition.

But Robin’s got bigger dreams for little Shaq. And after wasting his career playing for a club in decline, RvP wants a better fate for his son.

“Arsenal has invited him a couple of times to come and play there but he likes it at his club. He’s sensitive for a good atmosphere. Just like me.”

It doesn’t take a genius to infer from these comments that there’s a poisonous atmosphere permeating Ashburton Grove, and it’s clear RvP is desperate to keep the fruit of his loins away from it. But don’t worry, Robin. Arsenal’s not the only club looking at future stars of the Oranje. Fellow Dutchman Rafael van der Vaart has his 6 year old son Damian enrolled in the Spurs youth ranks, and some people*** think Shaqueel could be headed there to play alongside his future international teammate. Have a look and see if he’d be worth a punt.

* no they didn’t.

** unconfirmed. probably true.

*** no people.

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