Uncle Sam’s Dustbin: (Yet Another) Reason Cleveland Sucks

The reasons Cleveland sucks are many and varied; first, of course, would have to be setting a river on fire. Not far behind many would argue are the local sports teams. Browns, Cavs, Indians…barely an ounce of success among them. One could even argue the most successful team Cleveland’s seen was their soccer team.

Yes, soccer team. In two years the not at all storied or fabled Cleveland Stokers finished second in their division in the United Soccer Association (USA; the 60s were great for absurd names) and first in their division in the ’68 season of the NASL. Not bad really, not bad. But what kind of nickname is “Stokers?”

The USA’s one year experiment explains. The winners that year were the LA Wolves…aka Wolverhampton Wanderers. In a rather audacious move to create a rival league to the NASL, the USA imported foreign teams (mostly English and Scottish) wholesale during their summer breaks to play out the season. LA received Wolves, Boston got Shamrock Rovers (because, well, they’re Irish), Vancouver Sunderland, Chicago Cagliari, and so on. And Cleveland?

Cleveland hosted everyone’s favourite team, Stoke City.

Yes, that Stoke City.

So, when someone next bags on Stoke, which they surely will (it’s almost hard not to), just remember, it could be worse.

They could still be playing in Cleveland.

Surprisingly not named after their manager Stoker Lajoie


13 responses to “Uncle Sam’s Dustbin: (Yet Another) Reason Cleveland Sucks

  1. @Skipjack – you leave Detroit outta this.

    /Sends Kid Rock and Eminem to your house to show you how we do things in The D

  2. This blog sucks. You had better mention Aberdeen being the DC representative when you overhaul the article. Or else, ya dig?

  3. Famously forgotten during that ’68 season was a game that was fogged out against the LA Wolves. Said team wildcard Peter “Oil Can” Short: “That’s what you get for putting a pitch next to a pond.”

  4. Yeah, but Aberdeen didn’t do that well Jacob. I never want to remind you of their very, very occasional failings.

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